3 May 2017

12 April 2017

Dayre has stolen my life away from this space but I am enjoying having that little platform where people cannot find me easily. I am listening to music with my new earphones and it is the BEST. Everything sounds so high quality and they were only £6.50.

For what seems like the first time in my life I have this urge to write - and not thought catalog-esque writing, but proper proper writing (obv not gonna make it with my limited vocab but yes). I want to document my life in little stories and capture every detail of the things I love here. I want to write a whole book about fat pigeons and kinky donuts and the afternoons I spent at the Starbucks on Coney Street, complete with low quality pictures of my green tea latte. If I'm courageous enough maybe I'll talk about this with my very writey friends, and we'll make a book documenting what it's like to be a Singaporean studying overseas - all the good and the bad. We will be uncreative and title it '+65/+44', just like in our Instagram profiles. I am very tempted to take up a creative writing online course, yet I feel I don't need it; I want to use words like 'writey' in my writing without feeling like it's wrong. I'll rope in friends and friends' friends and friends' friends' friends from all over UK, we'll put our primary school writing skills to use and make a book we can show our grandkids!!! I think me being a science major it'll be a little less intimidating for me to approach people for their stories. I already have so many people in mind!!!

More than the typical testimony I want stories of our struggles and all the intimate details - of LDRs and failed LDRs, of racism, of loneliness, of the pets we've left back home. Essays of the days we want nothing more than to just, go, home. I want whole paragraphs describing what it's like to finally step into Changi Airport after 9 months away, and then having to deal with the very sobering fact that life back home goes on even without us.

We'll have chapters on the subjects we love - jargon and all. We don't need everyone to understand because we'll be writing for us, and for those that come after us. I want a book that comforts, one that lets our juniors and sons and daughters know we all have those nights, one that makes sure they also know that there are better days, and better yet, the best days.


am so uninspired hAHHAHAHA bye bye

23 March 2017

Do I (finally) finish writing the introduction for my report or should I spend this time here??? I promised myself I would do my readings tonight but I am also telling myself the night is still young.

I love being back in this country so much - even on the days I am stuck at home with nothing to do. I love me friends and my family and they love me back and it truly feels like I don't need anything else in this world. Thinking of having to fly back in 2 weeks makes me so sad :(((((( but still I know when I finally leave York for good a part of me will ache to go back.

I haven't felt an ounce (wow wow what unit of measurement is this) of sadness since I came home. The week has passed too!!! quickly!!! I am very behind on my work but I promise promise myself to catch up by this Sunday.

I've been thinking of the person I was and wanted to become when first started uni and it makes me happy knowing I'm not exactly the same person I was back then. I am still me in most senses but I *think* I have grown up a bit; isn't it quite horrifying to look 3 years back and find you haven't grown at all??? (N.A. to body weight) Everything that has happened happened in perfect time. Patience truly is a virtue, I hope I remember this always always always.

but I will leave this for another time (otherwise I won't have anything to say when I graduate HA)

25 February 2017

take me back

16 February 2017

The future's not ours to see

6 February 2017

I just realised I only put my January resolutions down on the 21st which is quite lame but I am proud to say that in the 2 weeks that have passed I have accomplished/mastered all of them except for my Proverbs wall and erm, losing weight (not that I've taken my weight. I have no courage to)!!!

All my rejections are in and for some sadistic reason I feel like I need to print them all out and frame them up. I don't know why but honestly I feel almost no disappointment; maybe I never wanted to do it in the first place. I don't know if it's just some disguised form of bitterness, but suddenly I'm not so sure I want to take this path anymore. I think that's the reason I'm starting to embrace this uncertainty, because I feel like there's a high chance this road I've chosen for myself may not turn out to be a happy one.

Ok I just spent the past 30 minutes fantasising about all the jobs I could do and my head is throbbing now so here are my FEB RESOLUTIONS!!! HAHAHA

1. Embrace the unknown but work hard!!!
2. Go for body attack on Sundays LOL (only 2 Sundays left cos I'll be in London coming Sun this shouldn't be very difficult)
3. Start of my FYP report oh goshhhh
4. ok the toughest one of all is coming

£100 budget until end Feb starts today